By Michelle McCaster
Guest Column
September is Suicide Prevention Month—a time to educate, raise awareness and remind people that help is available. It is also an opportunity for the African American community to confront the silence and stigma that continue to surround mental health and suicide.
Many of us were raised hearing familiar words: Be strong. Suck it up. Pray about it. And don’t tell anyone what goes on in this house.
For generations, strength helped Black families survive unimaginable hardships. But we must stop confusing strength with silence. Hiding depression behind a smile, carrying emotional pain alone and refusing to ask for help are not signs of strength. Sometimes, silence can be deadly.
Suicide is affecting Black families at an alarming rate. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide rates among Black Americans increased significantly between 2018 and 2023. Rates rose by approximately 29 percent among Black people ages 10–24 and ages 25–44, and by more than 17 percent among those ages 45–64.
These are more than statistics. They represent our children, parents, siblings, friends, classmates, church members and neighbors.
Too many people in our community avoid therapy because they fear being labeled weak or “crazy.” Others distrust the healthcare system, worry about cost or believe a therapist will not understand their culture. Some are told they should simply pray harder.
Faith can provide tremendous comfort and healing, but seeking professional help does not mean we lack faith. We can pray and attend therapy. We can talk with our pastor and a licensed counselor. We can trust God while accepting help from trained mental health professionals.
Although Black mental health professionals remain underrepresented, more Black therapists are available and easier to find today. Telehealth allows people to receive counseling from home, and national directories—including Therapy for Black Girls, Therapy for Black Men, Black Men Heal and the Association of Black Psychologists—help connect individuals with culturally responsive professionals.
Finding a Black therapist may allow someone to speak with a professional who better understands how racism, family expectations, faith and cultural experiences can affect mental health. Help is available, and receiving therapy is an act of courage—not weakness.
During Suicide Prevention Month, we must create homes where children and adults can speak honestly without fear of being judged, punished or dismissed. “What happens in this house stays in this house” should never apply when someone is being harmed, experiencing a mental health crisis or thinking about suicide. Protecting the family’s image should never come at the expense of someone’s life.
I have personally encountered parents who have lost children to suicide. Their pain is profound and life-altering. Yet grieving families are sometimes confronted with insensitive questions: “What happened?” “Why did they do it?” “Did you see the signs?” or “How did they die?”
Curiosity does not give anyone the right to the most painful details of another person’s life.
When parents lose a child, the circumstances do not change the magnitude of their loss. Their child is gone. They should not be forced to repeatedly recount the most traumatic experience of their lives. Unless the family chooses to share those details, please do not ask.
Instead, say, “I am deeply sorry for your loss.” Tell them, “I am here for you.” Ask, “How can I support you?”
Then continue showing up after the funeral, when the calls stop and everyone else returns to daily life. Bring a meal, run an errand, remember important dates or simply sit with them. Respect their grief without demanding an explanation.
Education is key to prevention. Warning signs may include talking about wanting to die, expressing hopelessness, feeling like a burden, withdrawing from loved ones, giving away meaningful possessions, increased substance use, sudden mood changes or saying goodbye.
If you notice these signs, do not ignore them. Ask the person directly whether they are thinking about suicide. Asking does not place the idea in someone’s mind. It may give them permission to tell the truth and receive help. Listen without judgment, remain present, help them connect with professional support and continue checking on them.
This Suicide Prevention Month, let us replace secrecy with conversation, shame with compassion and judgment with education. Let us check on the people who always appear strong. Let us teach our children that expressing pain is not weakness and asking for help is an act of courage.
A person can love God, come from a good family, have a successful career and still experience depression or suicidal thoughts. Mental illness is not a character flaw, and therapy is not something to be ashamed of.
We have spent generations teaching one another how to survive. Now, let us teach one another that it is safe to speak, safe to seek help and possible to heal.
If you or someone you know is struggling or experiencing thoughts of suicide, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. Trained crisis counselors are available 24 hours a day. In an immediate, life-threatening emergency, call 911.