Hello … Hollywood Calling Kyle

Lafe Tolliver

By Lafe Tolliver, Esq
Guest Column

I wonder how many Hollywood scouts are rushing to Kenosha, Wisconsin to try to convince Kyle Rittenhouse that his true calling is being before the cameras and avoiding the paparazzi.

If you have had a chance to watch Kyle turn on the spigot of tears during his murder trial, you may have come away with a gut feeling that this Kyle guy will beat the charges (except the lesser misdemeanor charge of having a gun while underage).

I mean, folks, Kyle was good…too good for my comfort when he, seemingly on cue, released a torrent of tears when he was detailing what happened to him when he, as a minor, traveled to Kenosha to “guard property of store owners.”

Kyle cried and honked like a stuck goose when his dialogue coach (one of his defense attorneys) gave him the football and told Kyle to run it into the endzone.

Kyle ran alright. Crying and boo-hooing the whole time and even to the point that his crying and honking like a low flying goose, had the judge call a 10-minute recess so that Kyle could gather his strength and return for a second round of contrite testimony.

Isn’t it amazing that when self-appointed sheriff and vigilante Kyle was roaming the riot area in Kenosha that when he gave himself up, he was not crying. Matter of fact, Kyle was able to get back to his home in Indiana before his mother (another crying honker in court) took him to the police.

To date, there has been no testimony that at any time when Kyle was strutting around Kenosha with a visible deadly weapon he was not supposed to have (at the time he was a minor of 17 years of age) and playing judge, jury and executioner of three men, two of whom were killed, that he cried one tear of remorse.

No, good ol’ Kyle was in his chosen element. He was weaponized and he was self-sworn to protect America from these BLM protesters, even if it meant using lethal force.

Ostensibly, Kyle was hyped up on news programming that led him to believe that he was answering a righteous call to defend the values and freedoms of America by voluntarily placing himself in a hot zone of civil unrest.

Kyle was of the high-minded opinion that his presence was critical and crucial to help maintain law and order in Kenosha, even though no one asked him to appear and much less, appear with an assault weapon loaded with 30 rounds of ammo.

Kyle was on a mission. A mission to help restore law and order in Kenosha and to teach those rioters that if they were to mess with Kyle, there would be grave consequences because his AR-15 was locked and loaded!

As to the statement made by Kyle that he was a “medic” to help with any injuries, that was a crock to say the least. Real medics do not even go to real war combat zones armed with assault rifles.

Destiny was calling Kyle and he gladly saluted and went off to fight the good fight.

So what that an earlier recording of Kyle watching a store looting in which he indicated that if he had his weapon, he would be shooting them. So much for his cover story of being a medic!

Come to think of it…if Kyle were with one of the three persons who spotted Ahmaud Arbery leaving that home under construction in Glynn County, Georgia, would we take bets that Kyle would be angling and jostling to get a good kill shot at Mr. Arbery with the other vigilantes who killed Armaud?

Is there any “kin” connection between the vigilantes in Glynn County and the acts of Kyle In Kenosha, Wisconsin?

Are they kissing cousins who were responding to an unnamed boogey man residing in their psychic makeup that propelled them to take up arms and execute those whom they find offensive or those engaging in supposed illegal conduct. But rather than leave criminal justice to the police, we now have agent provocateurs who self-assign as sheriffs and patrolling parties.

When the batch of Hollywood agents arrived in Kenosha, they will give Kyle the spiel that his stellar performance in that witness chair was sublime perfection in a suit and tie and that he is wasting his time going to nursing school but should put on pancake makeup and keep those award winning tears flowing!

When that jury saw that 18-year-old cherub wailing and crying up a fit on the witness stand, saying he was only defending himself from marauders, the jury will also have a good cry, wipe their eyes, have an epiphany and see one of their own on trial and vote, not guilty!

One of their own, who manned up on their behalf and took to the ramparts to defend all that is good, true and noble in America.

Upon a likelihood finding of not guilty, Kyle Rittenhouse will be deluged with book offers, offers for TV appearances (especially on FOX NEWS) and will become a new hero of the far right who will see in Kyle the rising prototype of a new John Wayne and Charlton Heston that they can rally around and stop America’s drift towards anarchy!

We live in interesting times.


Contact Lafe Tolliver at tolliver@juno.com