A Mental Health Moment
By Bernadette Joy Graham, MA, LPCC
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Therapist
As therapists, we often sit beside our clients through some of the most difficult moments of their lives. We celebrate their victories, witness their resilience, and walk with them through pain, healing, and transformation. Over the years, these therapeutic relationships have become meaningful, even while maintaining professional boundaries.
When a client dies, particularly after years of working together and achieving significant progress, therapists experience grief too.
For many people, therapists are seen primarily as helpers or professionals. However, we are also human beings who invest emotionally in the well-being of those we serve. Losing a client can bring feelings of sadness, shock, helplessness, and even self-reflection. We may find ourselves revisiting milestones, remembering breakthroughs, and reflecting on the courage our clients demonstrated throughout their journey.
For therapists, this grief can be especially profound when building that therapeutic client relationship. We understand the unique challenges many individuals face, including racial trauma, systemic barriers, and the stigma surrounding mental health. Witnessing a client overcome these obstacles and reclaim hope is a privilege. Losing that person can feel like losing a powerful story of resilience and growth.
Yet, grief is also a testament to the importance of the therapeutic relationship. It reflects genuine care, compassion, and a deep respect for the humanity of those we serve. While therapists are trained to help others navigate loss, we too must seek support, practice self-care, and allow ourselves space to mourn.
Ultimately, every client leaves an imprint. Their strength, wisdom, and journey become part of the work we continue to do. As therapists, we honor their lives by carrying forward the lessons they taught us and by remaining committed to helping others heal.
In remembering our clients, we are reminded that healing is not only about overcoming challenges. It is also about the meaningful connections we create along the way.
Take a mental health moment and acknowledge the work that therapists do as a profession, not just a job. Personally, I’ve never lost a client to suicide and I take much pride and meaning in that accomplishment. I have only lost clients to severe health issues or aging. Recently, I lost a client of six years and this client made significant progress. I remember the first day they walked into my office and had no hope. As the years progressed, their life improved. They showed up, they did the work and they deserved every bit of happiness. They were killed recently to no fault of their own in a vehicle accident just one day after our session.
I specialize in grief and loss. But this was a loss I had never experienced in my professional field. Due to ethical boundaries and HIPPA compliance, therapists have no way of attending services or reaching out to client’s families. Many families and friends are not even aware that their loved one was in therapy. No one knows how their loved one improved their circumstances or changed with progress. At times, many therapists feel they are in a thankless profession.
To my fellow colleagues and therapists, it is the passion and purpose we carry to help others. Just don’t forget to take care of yourselves. We do our best and that is all we can do. To the families who have lost, please know that us therapists do care but we can only do what we can, that which is ethical and legal.
Bernadette Joy Graham is a licensed professional clinical counselor dedicated to supporting the mental health and well-being of individuals, families, and communities.
If you would like more information on finding mental health providers, look up www.psychologytoday.com as well as ask your primary care physician or pediatrician for children.
Appointments with Bernadette Joy Graham: please call 419 866 8232. For telehealth, you may also schedule with her on Sondermind and Betterhelp.
If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis/thoughts of suicide, please call 988 or go to the nearest emergency room.