Race Man to the Rescue … Not!

By Lafe Tolliver, Esq
Guest Column

Source: news wire: ANNN (All Negro News Network):

Just when you think things could not get worse, we now have it on a reliable source that Sesame Place, the children’s theme park in Philadelphia, has turned loose its Rosita character on two hapless Black girls.

Yes, you heard it here first! Rosita has purportedly gone to the dark side when she allegedly refused to high five two Black girls who were anticipating a hand slap when Rosita passed by their way at the theme park.

The alleged slight was caught on camera and went viral. The two shaken girls seemingly recovered from the oversight and their parents did not accept the profuse apologies of both the theme park and the sorrowful character, Rosita.

The seemingly outraged parents, fearing that their two young daughters could be emotionally maimed for life, did what any aggrieved parent would do. They sued the theme park for $25 million in damages to the two girls.

Yes, the parents of these distraught children want big bucks for the theme park violating their contract (the purchased tickets) wherein it is implied that racial discrimination would be prohibited at the playground.

Purportedly (and don’t ask me how they got these other “videos”) there are other instances where the cast of Sesame Street characters are filmed dissing other Black kids at the park.

Not being satisfied with getting this story second hand, ANNN sent our crackerjack reporter, Ms. Dymyfiludia Washington, to interview the family that is now in seclusion with 24-hour security.

This is what Ms. Washington learned:

ANNN: Mr. Burns, please tell our viewers what happened to you and your daughters at the theme park.

Parent: (fighting back tears). My two little sweets were waiting in line on the parade route when Rosita was coming their way. When the character got near them, my two precious daughters raised up their cute little hands to get a high five from Rosita.

Rosita looked at them and waived them off with a loud, “No!”

My daughters were crestfallen and as you can see from the video, they were rudely snubbed by Rosita!

ANNN: Wow! What a story. So how are your daughters doing under such enormous publicity about being slighted in public by Rosita?

Parent (reaching for another box of tissues to dry his eyes). They are doing terrible! Night sweats, wetting the bed, loss of appetite, their grades in school are down and they are starting to hang out with the wrong crowd of second and third graders!

ANNN: What made you seek out a lawyer to sue them for this seemingly vile attack on the innocence of their childhood?

Parent: I said to myself that they have got to pay for this outrage! They must learn a lesson that no Sesame Street character is above the law and if they can get away with not high fiving a third grader, we have lost it as a country!

ANNN: Tell me sir, why the amount of $25 million? Wouldn’t an apology and free admission to the park for five years work?

The park did state that any perceived snub was inadvertent.

Parent: (looking aghast). Never! A money judgment will straighten them out!

ANNN: How do your girls feel about this lawsuit?

Parent: My wife and I have not discussed this too much with them. They are too young to understand that Rosita needs to be held accountable for dissing them!

ANNN:  Mr. Burns, other media outlets are stating that you are making a mountain out of a molehill. How do you respond to that criticism?

Parent: (reaching for a second box of tissues). Ha! Let them explain to our kids why they are in counseling three days a week and they refuse to leave the house for fear of seeing Rosita coming down their street!

ANNN: Sir, don’t you think today’s kids are more resilient than you think and that once you explain to them what happened, that they are smart enough to

understand and move on with their lives?

Parent: (calling in the background to his wife to refuse the request for a CNN

interview and not to have the kids appear on The View). If we do not draw the line with Rosita and Sesame Street characters, who knows whom may insult our daughters next! Donald Duck? Dora The Explorer? Spiderman? Wonder Woman?

No, you gotta draw the line with these arrogant Sesame Street characters.

ANNN:  Mr. Burns, may I ask your daughters just a couple of questions?

Parent (long pause….) Ok, but just two or they will be late for their self-esteem classes at the Y.

(Going to the TV room where the girls are watching re-runs of, Blackish).

Hi girls. Your Daddy says I can ask you two questions, OK?

Girls: Ok.

ANNN: How are you coping what happened to you at Sesame Place?

Girls: Oh, that! We forgot about it when we left the park. No big deal. Rosita

is a nice lady. She is not a meanie.

Parent: (seeing big bucks floating away) Okay, okay…that’s enough. Interview over!

ANNN: (now outside of the house). Well viewers, there you have it. The kids

know more than the parents! A big Waa…Waa over nothing and for this, the parents want $25 million!

Ever heard of a money grab? Ten to one, the judge dismisses this case as being frivolous and assesses costs and fees against the parents!


Contact Lafe Tolliver at tolliver@juno.com