No Cheese … No Peace!

By Lafe Tolliver, Esq
Guest Column

Yes, it has come to this. Foolishness and nonsense are now taking front and center in the daily circumstances of our lives.

There was time(?) when stupidity and outright buffoonery was reserved for those special times when people acted a fool when they were drunk or on a college prank or dare.

Now, it seems that you can barely keep up with the outrage on Tik-Tok and home-made videos and cell phones recording people at their worst and doing their worst.

I know…I know, not all people are out their showing their “behinds” in public with stunts and coarse conversations and even criminal conduct, all being done under the umbrella of being aggravated or anxious or people at their “wit’s end.”

But. Really! The stuff that is being broadcasted on both local and national media outlets, if you did not know better, shows a society that is nigh off the hook when it comes to civility and possessing fifth grade common sense.

A case in point: A white lawyer in NYC was walking down the street with his buds and a young black woman was approaching him. She was wearing a large puffy green Afro Wig.

When he got within arm reach of her, without provocation, he snatched the wig off her head! Needless to state, the woman rightfully was outraged and demanded to know why he did what he did. No answer. Even this lawyer’s walking buds kept on telling him to apologize, but he refused.

Long story short. The incident was posted on social media, his identity was discovered and upon hearing and viewing the video, his law firm fired him.

Moral of the story: Keep your hands to yourself and don’t mess with a Black woman’s hairpiece!

A case in point:  A woman booked a six-hour flight and paid for the window seat. She planned to sleep because she has a sleep disorder. The person who booked the other two seats had a young infant child.

The mother asked for a seat exchange, but the other woman politely refused to move.

The mother was upset that her request was denied and when the woman was sleeping, she allowed her infant child to crawl all over her during the flight.

The mother allowed this gross invasion of space to take place because she wanted “revenge” for not getting her way with the window passenger.

I know…I know. You would have called the flight attendant or pushed the child off you and reprimanded the mother but the window passenger, for whatever reason, did nothing.

Why would a mother use her child as a weapon of choice to force such an indignity upon a person who simply refused to give up her window seat?

Long story short: The mother of the out-of-control child perceived no social boundaries in letting her child run amok in a tight public setting and wanting her way despite not having any claim to the window seat.

Was the window passenger too passive to stand up for her window rights and to confront the mother with some stern but quiet language? We will never know but I know what some of my readers would have done, and some of those responses would have been, “It’s on!”

Finally, a case in point and this happened in Toledo.

Two of “you” people went through a Wendy’s drive thru and part of the order was a chicken with cheese (If Black people bought land and raised chickens 50 years ago, they would have been multi-millionaires due to our undying loyalty to all things, Fried Chicken!).

But, back to the story. When the order was presented to the car occupants, the person who ordered the chicken with cheese discovered that the bird had no cheese on it!

Oh boy…. here we go!

The woman exited the car and went inside and caused havoc with the store and its employees including damages to the interior and then her “other” came in and seeing the havoc being levied upon the restaurant, took it as his cue to join in and he caused some damage to the property and allegedly to an employee!

Mind you, this is all over a piece of fried yard bird not having a slice of American cheese to adorn it.

Of course, the police came and arrested the chicken-challenged couple and charges were pressed against them and they are awaiting the final disposition of the court case.

If I were the judge on the case, this would be my sentence:

(1) write two thousand times: I will not let a piece of fried chicken, without cheese, rule and ruin my life;

(2) all costs of the damage done to the property and any injury losses suffered by any of the employees;

(3) anger management classes;

(4) court costs and fines;

(5) restraining order of not going to any Wendy’s restaurants for five years;

(6) suspended jail sentence of 12 months but actual jail time of 30 days;

When I first heard of the incident, regrettably my first reaction was, “I wonder who did this?” because I knew who they would be because who fights over a chicken sammich with no cheese?

So, what is my answer to this dilemma of getting a sammich without cheese at a Wendy’s?

Simple: I always bring a cooler with me and inside I have a choice of cheeses to put on a sammich that arrives without the cheese!

Isn’t life great!


Contact Lafe Tolliver @