Con Men Do Get Lonely

Lafe Tolliver

By Lafe Tolliver, Esq
Guest Column

Hey, who says that con men don’t get lonely? Of course they do! When it happens, their sure cure-all is to plan and plot their next caper!

Nothing keeps a con man happier than sitting down at his kitchen table and plotting how he can fleece his knucklehead sheep or sucker in new recruits to make his fat bank account even fatter.

Some cons are done in remote secret, like hacking a weakly secured website and scamming off with thousands of dollars. Some are done in broad daylight, like magicians telling you that they can levitate themselves without ropes or levers.

A con is a con! Sometimes we know that we are being conned, but we go along with the ride for the sheer amusement of knowing that we are being bamboozled. And for some, we are taken for a ride and when we find out we have been had, it is embarrassing to tell others since we had a high opinion of our abilities to spot the shyster in our midst.

Well, get ready, America! Because one of the greatest con men of all time is about to announce to the world that he is back for a curtain call because he wants the Wow! of the crowds and the adoration of his swooning masses to once again, venerate him.

Yes, I am talking about the orange hair grifter we have come to know as Herr Trump!

Da Trump has announced that he is planning to run as the GOP candidate for president in 2024.

Trump, not satisfied to sit out and await the results of the multiple civil and criminal investigations into his career of conning the gullible and the intellectually challenged crowds that attend his mass rehearsals, wants to get back into the rapturous limelight.

Trump craves the adoration of his base (a/k/a: deplorables as described by Hillary Clinton) and his uncanny ability to charm both empty-headed women and spineless men to bend to his corrupted will.

Trump is ostensibly firing up his political machine to flood the market with the idea that their savior will return to redeem them from the corrupt Deep State and the vile far left-wing media barons.

If anybody knows what tune to play to a divided country that is spooked by the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and its cousin, the Delta mutant, it is Trump. Trump will play the usual card tricks of calling everyone who does not agree with him part of the Deep State or that they are latent communists or that they hate America.

Although Trump had four disastrous years as a president, Trump will blithely forget all his outrageous policy decisions and hope that you have a very short memory of how he single handedly caused the deaths of thousands of people because of his woeful stupidity in confronting COVID-19 head-on when it first appears on these shores.

And to really get his intelligently challenged base riled up, Trump has already started a “cultural war” by heralding the grand attributes of the racist Confederate general, Robert E. Lee.

Trump was outraged that the State of Virginia finally decided to yank the statute honoring the Southern traitor from Monument Row in Richmond, Virginia and retired it to a holding area not yet revealed.

Trump knows that much of the South holds that redneck general in high regard even though he was a traitor to the Union and wanted to keep Blacks in eternal servitude to White people.

So, when he launches additional PACs to raise money for his newest foray into politics, you can be assured that the money will roll into his accounts or will be under his control as he laughs all the way to the bank.

One great hope against this rise of a demagogue is the various legal charges in D.C., Georgia and New York will be underway so that by 2024, this shaman will be in someone’s lockup regaling inmates with his tall stories of grabbing women by the ****y and calling Black women, “b*****es.”

The feckless GOP leadership will dutifully shield their eyes when Herr Trump engages in political pornography and will self-induce itself into early dementia when asked about his outrageous acts against the Constitution and the rule of law.

When the Bible says that a little leaven, leavens the whole lump, it is applicable to this grifter. But, with no shame and seemingly devoid of any functioning conscience, Herr Trump (if he avoids jail time) will successfully run on the GOP ticket.

He will gleefully stir the deep slop jar of lies and half-truths with the spoon of fresh conspiracy theories and baseless attacks on the truth that will cause his disciples to rally with their votes and donations in a wretched attempt to return to “their” good ol’ days of a political moron masquerading as a President.

We live in interesting times.

Contact Lafe Tolliver at tolliver@junocom