{"id":9822,"date":"2023-10-05T12:56:55","date_gmt":"2023-10-05T12:56:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/?p=9822"},"modified":"2023-10-05T12:56:55","modified_gmt":"2023-10-05T12:56:55","slug":"beyond-grief-what-to-do-when-someone-dies-at-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/2023\/10\/05\/beyond-grief-what-to-do-when-someone-dies-at-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Beyond Grief:\u00a0 What to Do When Someone Dies at Home"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Bernadette Joy Graham, MA, LPCC, LLC<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By Bernadette Joy Graham, MA, LPCC, LLC
\n<\/strong>The Truth Contributor<\/strong><\/p>\n

I can remember the day my mother died in 1985 as if it were yesterday.\u00a0 I was at school eating my brown bag lunch when the assistant principle tapped me on my shoulder and as I turned around, she motioned and said \u201ccome with me.\u201d After my brother delivered the news to me in her office, I cried like no other cry a human being delivers.<\/p>\n

It was the longest drive home and I knew my mother\u2019s body was still in her bed.\u00a0 I wanted to see her and fought my way past my dad and sister to make it up the steps and there she lay on her side with her hand under her head looking as if she would wake up at any given moment.\u00a0 I touched her forehead; her face was stiff.\u00a0 I stayed until the morgue arrived.\u00a0 I watched them put her body in a black bag then went to the window as they loaded her body in the back of the van and disappeared out of the parking lot.<\/p>\n

Later I learned that one of my older brothers visiting from California woke up and found it odd that she had not gotten up for work yet.\u00a0 \u201cIt was 1015 and even though it was her late day, she normally would have been up and out by 945, I called mom you going to work today and when she did not respond I began to shake.\u00a0 I went over to her and rubbed her shoulder and she still didn\u2019t move.\u00a0 I shook the whole time as I dialed the police and I\u2019m from California I didn\u2019t know the number to the police in Toledo so I ran next door and banged on the neighbor\u2019s door to ask to use their phone and once I reached the police, they basically blew me off and asked if it was a crime scene, I said no she just didn\u2019t wake up, the guy all but hung up on me and said call the morgue pal.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Present day, 2023, would you know what to do or who to call if you found a loved one dead in their home or if they were to die in your home?\u00a0 Yes, there is always Siri but would you even know what to ask Siri?\u00a0 \u201cHey, Siri, who do I call if I just found my uncle dead at his house?\u201d\u00a0 or \u201cHey, Siri, what do I do, my sister isn\u2019t breathing and I just woke up and found her on the floor of our apartment?\u201d<\/p>\n

While people die each day, each min of the hour, there are countless scenarios but for this moment let\u2019s focus on what to do from home.\u00a0 According to the National Institute of Aging (NIA) they do not recommend moving the body right away.\u00a0 If there is more than one person in the home, decide who is capable of staying in the room and will begin making phone calls to the local coroner, health department and\/or funeral home representative.\u00a0 They may give direction on how to proceed.<\/p>\n

Being that the person has already passed, do not call 911 but the non-emergency number for the local police department.\u00a0 As soon as possible, the death must be officially pronounced by someone in authority which is a question to ask who this someone will be of the local coroner, health department or individual\u2019s doctor.<\/p>\n

Depending upon the nature of the relationship to the deceased and if anyone else lived in the home, collect driver\u2019s license or state ID so it may be determined if the deceased is an organ donor as well as any pertinent papers such as life insurance policy and\/or a Will.\u00a0 Any valuables such as jewelry, cash, checkbooks should be held by a trusted family member or friend until it has been determined if the deceased had a lawyer, spouse, or adult children.<\/p>\n

What not to do?\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Do not panic.\u00a0 If you are alone, call a family member or trusted friend to come over to help.\u00a0 Do not remove anything from their home or drive their car.\u00a0 Do not go straight to social media.<\/p>\n

Take a mental health moment to develop a plan if someone in your home dies.\u00a0 Talk together as a family or if living alone ask family or trusted friends to check on you if things seem out of order such as mail piling up, your car being parked for longer than usual or your phone not being answered or going straight to voicemail.\u00a0 If you do plan to be out of town for long periods of time, ask a neighbor or family member know and maybe even collect your mail until your return.<\/p>\n

If you do not have life insurance and\/or a Will, talk to your insurance agent or lawyer to discuss options.\u00a0 Lastly, don\u2019t take life for granted.\u00a0 Live each day at it\u2019s best.\u00a0 There is not a day that goes by that I don\u2019t miss my mom.\u00a0 I was not prepared to be a motherless daughter at age 14 but her unexpected loss those many years ago has given me the purpose and passion I now possess as my career as a licensed mental health therapist and grief and bereavement specialist.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For more information about what to do after someone dies<\/h2>\n

AARP<\/strong>
\n888-687-2277
\n877-434-7598 (TTY)
\nmember@aarp.org<\/a>
\nwww.aarp.org\/home-family\/caregiving\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Donate Life<\/strong>
\n804-377-3580
\ndonatelifeamerica@donatelife.net
\nwww.donatelife.net<\/a><\/p>\n

The Living Bank<\/strong>
\n800-528-2971
\ninfo@livingbank.org<\/a>
\nwww.livingbank.org<\/a><\/p>\n

Social Security Administration<\/strong>
\n800-772-1213
\n800-325-0778 (TTY)
\nwww.ssa.gov<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bernadette Joy Graham, MA, LPCC, LLC<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Graham.bernadette@gmail.com<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Weekly YouTube Mentally In-Tune<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Bernadette Joy Graham, MA, LPCC, LLC The Truth Contributor I can remember the day my mother died in 1985 as if it were yesterday.\u00a0 I was at school eating my brown bag lunch when the assistant principle tapped me on my shoulder and as I turned around, she motioned and said \u201ccome with me.\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,17],"tags":[],"wf_post_folders":[195],"class_list":["post-9822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health","category-local"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9822","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9822"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9822\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9823,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9822\/revisions\/9823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9822"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9822"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9822"},{"taxonomy":"wf_post_folders","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/wf_post_folders?post=9822"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}