{"id":14544,"date":"2024-12-05T17:06:06","date_gmt":"2024-12-05T17:06:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/?p=14544"},"modified":"2024-12-05T17:06:22","modified_gmt":"2024-12-05T17:06:22","slug":"getting-through-the-holidays-after-losing-loved-ones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/05\/getting-through-the-holidays-after-losing-loved-ones\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Through the Holidays After Losing Loved Ones"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Bernadette Joy Graham, MA, LPCC, LLC<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A Mental Health Moment<\/strong><\/p>\n

By Bernadette Joy Graham, MA, LPCC
\n<\/em>Licensed Clinical Mental Health Therapist|
\nThe Truth Contributor<\/em><\/p>\n

The holidays can hit different when someone you love isn\u2019t here to share them with you. Sugarcoating it is tough.\u00a0\u00a0 But even when it feels like the weight of grief is too much, there are ways to make it through. Let\u2019s talk about how to handle that pain, lean on the culture that keeps us grounded and why sitting down with non-white therapists might be the game-changer you didn\u2019t know you needed.<\/p>\n

Feel Your Feelings\u2014Don\u2019t Bottle It Up<\/h3>\n

Listen, there is no shame in your pain. If you feel like crying, cry. If you\u2019re mad at the world, that\u2019s valid too. Don\u2019t let anybody hit you with that \u201cbe strong\u201d talk. Strong doesn\u2019t mean ignoring how you feel\u2014it\u2019s about letting those emotions come out so they don\u2019t eat you alive. Grief is love that doesn\u2019t know where to go, so let it flow.\u00a0 It is also something that takes work; find a way to learn how to grieve, it won\u2019t happen overnight, time is not going to make it feel less painful. Holding any type of painful emotions or feelings is not good physically, mentally, emotionally and it will begin to bring an individual to decline; relationship issues, parenting, career and it just feel like you are wearing a mask and communicating with others with all the fakeness one can have.<\/p>\n

Honor Them in Your Own Way<\/h3>\n

People of color and those from various cultures know how to keep a legacy alive. The people we\u2019ve lost are never really gone as long as we carry them with us. This season, do something to honor them. Cook their favorite dish, hang their picture by the tree, or play that old-school track they couldn\u2019t stop blasting. It\u2019s your way of saying, \u201cI see you, and I still love you.\u201d\u00a0 Also, check out the African American Legacy Project (AALP) of NW Ohio, a 501 c3 non profit that collects, archives and maintains the history of African Americans that would otherwise be lost.\u00a0 If you really want to honor a lost one, see if their picture is in the archives or any other information.\u00a0\u00a0 You may also donate something of theirs such as a picture or artifact.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Go Through It Alone<\/h3>\n

We\u2019re a community for a reason. If the grief gets too heavy, reach out to your folks. Your family, your church home, sports team or any other organization you may be a part.\u00a0 Check out www.meetup.com<\/a> (it\u2019s not a dating site)\u2026find them, there is something out there for everyone. Even if it\u2019s just sitting in silence with someone who understands, that connection can remind you that you\u2019re not walking this road by yourself.\u00a0 Don\u2019t be afraid to ask for what you need.\u00a0 Sometimes just saying, \u201cI\u2019m having a rough time,\u201d can open the door to support you didn\u2019t even realize was there.\u00a0 If you feel you have no one, that is another good reason to seek out a therapist.<\/p>\n

Take Care of You<\/h3>\n

Self-care is not selfish. If you need to skip a party or take a break from all the holiday hype, do it. Light a candle, run a bath, or throw on your favorite song, whether it’s songs you shared or remember about those you lost.\u00a0\u00a0 Music holds a certain vibration that can affect your mood, thoughts and feelings.\u00a0 Protecting your peace is part of healing, and you deserve that, everyone deserves that. Just be very careful in not misdirecting your emotions onto others.\u00a0 Do not spend time with negative or toxic people.\u00a0\u00a0 You are the only you you have, caring for yourself first will allow you to do a better job in taking care of others.<\/p>\n

Therapy is not Taboo – Just find the right therapist for you.<\/h3>\n

Let\u2019s keep it 100\u2014mental health is real, and therapy is a tool we should all have in our corner. Seek that therapist you feel will understand you better, understand where you\u2019re coming from because they\u2019ve walked some of the same roads. They get the layers of grief, the culture, and the struggles that come with being a person of color – and non white within this world.<\/p>\n

Therapy isn\u2019t about somebody \u201cfixing\u201d you\u2014it\u2019s about\u00a0 assisting you with the tools to understand what you\u2019re feeling and helping you move through it. It\u2019s like having a guide who\u2019s trained to help you see the path when things feel too dark.\u00a0 One of the greatest things about therapy is everything you share with the therapist of your choice stays there.\u00a0 Confidentiality is of the utmost importance unless you say you want to hurt yourself or someone else, then it has to be reported.<\/p>\n

Find Moments of Joy<\/h3>\n

Grieving doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t laugh or smile. It\u2019s okay to feel good, even if it\u2019s just for a moment. Watch a funny movie, listen to some music that makes you want to dance, or spend time with people who make you feel loved. Your loved one would want you to live\u2014not just survive.\u00a0 If you lack feeling, emotions or moments of joy due to not having someone to share your time, energy and money, you are not alone in this situation.\u00a0 Always know that hurt people don\u2019t always hurt people, more hurt people, help people which is a more pleasing act you will feel deep down in your soul.<\/p>\n

You Got This<\/p>\n

Take a Mental Health Moment.\u00a0 Do some reflection and check your reality, the holidays will never feel the same, and that\u2019s okay; But with love, community, care, and finding new ways to celebrate (in a positive and a healthy manner) it will buffer some of the pain. Grief is heavy, but it\u2019s not the end of anyone\u2019s story. The people we\u2019ve lost are part of us, and they\u2019d want us to keep shining.\u00a0 Remember, it\u2019s okay to hurt, it\u2019s okay to heal, and it\u2019s okay to ask for help. Take it one day at a time\u2014No one was meant to live on this earth forever.<\/p>\n

This season, remember: it\u2019s okay to hurt, it\u2019s okay to heal, and it\u2019s okay to ask for help. Take it one day at a time\u2014No one was meant to live on this earth forever. The world knows that individuals of color have a higher rate of mortality due to anything from violence, suicide, drug overdoses, and health related issues such as diabetes, high blood pressure and many other health challenges.\u00a0\u00a0 Violence and suicide comes with losing everything and everyone, some individuals you know and some you don\u2019t.\u00a0 Taking a life, even your own is not the way to grieve.\u00a0\u00a0 So please, as we move toward the end of 2024, also think about how much more healing will take place by the end of 2025.\u00a0 Lastly, being locked up or dead is not a way to maneuver through the holiday pains; it\u2019s only making the new year worse for others and that hurts\u2026.let\u2019s all help each other, help it is a great way to begin to heal.<\/p>\n

(If you feel you may be in a mental health crisis, please call 988 or go to the nearest emergency room.)<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Bernadette Graham is a Licensed Professional Mental Health Therapist in private practice.\u00a0 She also provides educational workshops on matters of grief and mental health as well as conducting groups, and speaking at events. Bernadette has been an advocate within the Mental Health field for over 20 years.\u00a0 You may contact her or complete an intake at the following:<\/em><\/p>\n

+1 (786) 755-1863<\/em><\/p>\n

intake+Bernadette25063@growtherapy.com<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>https:\/\/www.rula.com\/<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/therapists\/bernadette-joy-graham-toledo-oh\/415500<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Maumee location in office – 419 866-8232<\/em><\/p>\n

Bancroft St. location Toledo – 419 578 2525 or 419 409 4929<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Mental Health Moment By Bernadette Joy Graham, MA, LPCC Licensed Clinical Mental Health Therapist| The Truth Contributor The holidays can hit different when someone you love isn\u2019t here to share them with you. Sugarcoating it is tough.\u00a0\u00a0 But even when it feels like the weight of grief is too much, there are ways to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"wf_post_folders":[267],"class_list":["post-14544","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14544","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14544"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14544\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14545,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14544\/revisions\/14545"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14544"},{"taxonomy":"wf_post_folders","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/wf_post_folders?post=14544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}