{"id":14015,"date":"2024-10-24T17:02:05","date_gmt":"2024-10-24T17:02:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/?p=14015"},"modified":"2024-10-24T17:03:55","modified_gmt":"2024-10-24T17:03:55","slug":"old-grandpa-at-the-dinner-table","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/2024\/10\/24\/old-grandpa-at-the-dinner-table\/","title":{"rendered":"Old Grandpa at the Dinner Table"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Lafe Tolliver<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By Lafe Tolliver, Esq<\/strong><\/em>
\nGuest Column<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

There you are. It is Thanksgiving Dinner at your home and the table is lavishly\u00a0set with all the usual trimmings and festive d\u00e9cor. You got mom\u2019s fabled mac n\u2019 cheese, fresh cranberry compote, homemade potato rolls, sweet potatoes, broiled Brussel sprouts, cornbread dressing with sausage, two turkeys and a\u00a0sizzling ham studded with cloves and Aunt Mandy\u2019s obligatory Jell-O fruit mold.<\/p>\n

All 18 guests are assembled. The football game is playing in the background and then, at the front door, enters Grandpa Berry dressed in overalls\u00a0and carrying his gallon jug of homemade Moonshine, straight from the hollers of\u00a0Tennessee.<\/p>\n

Grandpa grins and shouts to all, \u201cHey, hey looka here, Grandpa Berry has brought the cheer!\u201d<\/p>\n

Cousins, uncles, nieces and nephews give each other that \u201clook\u201d knowing what is about to happen. Grandpa is about to take the room over with his antics,\u00a0 stories, lies and everyone will dutifully laugh and smile at his quirks and boasting that he has the best brain in the house!<\/p>\n

Your dad and mom quickly intervene and tells everyone to take their seats before the blessing and then the \u201cplease pass the (insert here whatever is being served)\u201d rituals begin.<\/p>\n

Everyone is hoping against hope that Grandpa Berry will take a middle seat\u00a0at the long table but, no, he deftly claims one of the end seats with a spry move that blocks out his eldest son, Raymond.<\/p>\n

No one is surprised because that is what Grandpa Berry does at all the family gatherings\u2026he takes the limelight and with his body language, quietly dares anyone to challenge him.<\/p>\n

No one does. Because, truth be known, Grandpa Berry has enough money\u00a0to buy the county and everyone one in it. Grandpa made a killing in the stock market buying shares of no name stocks; and in a matter of years, his fortunes\u00a0on paper would cause one\u2019s eyes to go blurry.<\/p>\n

Yeah, he was THAT rich and he was one not to let you forget it. Everyone one at that table owed a debt of some sort to Grandpa, be it money to buy a house,\u00a0scholarships for the kids and grandkids, business loans for start-ups, legal fees paid for the few errant family members; and \u201csecret\u201d payoffs to politicos that now makes them beholden to him.<\/p>\n

Grandpa never let you forget who buttered your bread or who caused that zoning ordinance to go away when a family member needed a waiver to set up\u00a0a franchise near a residential area.<\/p>\n

And for his fees? Simple. You support him and never speak evil of the devil.<\/p>\n

When Grandpa dumped on you because he believed that you were not\u00a0supporting his latest endeavors, you smiled and swallowed your pride and\u00a0keep on stepping, knowing that taking a stand against his inanities would be\u00a0a losing cause because Grandpa would turn off the financial spigot when\u00a0you need a loan, or two\u2026 and it would not be there.<\/p>\n

So, you suffered in silence, as everyone else did and you licked your emotional wounds in private with the others in the extended family that smiled in public but in private railed against the day that Grandpa Berry seemingly went to the dark side and dared you to confront him, or else.<\/p>\n

When Grandpa Berry was not around touting his wealth and contacts, you\u00a0realized the similarities of Grandpa Berry and Donald Trump. Both were\u00a0narcissists and devoid of any empathy towards anyone; and the slightest\u00a0criticism could cause you to be \u201cwritten out of the will.\u201d<\/p>\n

You hung in there thinking that things would be better for you or that the family members would rally as one and stand up to grandpa but in your heart of\u00a0hearts, you knew that was a pipedream.<\/p>\n

You went too long being a coward towards grandpa and he smelled the cowardice coming off you like a cheap two-dollar perfume.<\/p>\n

You made excuses for grandpa\u2019s erratic behavior including the time that he came onto your property and had three trees cut down because he did not like that they were too close together.<\/p>\n

Or the time that he went by the men\u2019s store that he financed for you, and took\u00a0home, without paying, three Armani suits totaling over $6,000 in\u00a0value. You did not ask for payment because you were afraid that he would call in the loan he gave you for the store.<\/p>\n

What about the time that he called your brother\u2019s wife, Ethel, a \u201cstupid hen\u201d\u00a0when she forgot to serve the dessert on time. Everyone simply looked down in their laps while grandpa ranted on and on about no-class Ethel.<\/p>\n

You would think and wonder aloud, at least by now, that Grandpa Berry\u00a0has lost a step or two and he needs to be called out for his uncouth remarks and\u00a0his lack of any empathy for anyone but himself.<\/p>\n

It is your perception that his money and how that has allowed himself to be intertwined in all family matters, most of which do not concern him, needs to\u00a0called out for the good of all.<\/p>\n

Be it in politics or in family life, there comes a time when choosing to remain\u00a0silent when a voice is needed, is cowardness and leads to unhealthy relationships.<\/p>\n

That is now going on in America with the influence of the toxicity of Donald\u00a0Trump and his naysayers who haves forfeited their values for peace at the dinner table and to stay in Trump\u2019s \u201cgood graces.\u201d<\/p>\n

You know, sometimes getting the turkey leg is no big deal!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Contact Lafe Tolliver at tolliver@juno.com<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Lafe Tolliver, Esq Guest Column There you are. It is Thanksgiving Dinner at your home and the table is lavishly\u00a0set with all the usual trimmings and festive d\u00e9cor. You got mom\u2019s fabled mac n\u2019 cheese, fresh cranberry compote, homemade potato rolls, sweet potatoes, broiled Brussel sprouts, cornbread dressing with sausage, two turkeys and a\u00a0sizzling […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"wf_post_folders":[259],"class_list":["post-14015","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-editorial-opinion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14015","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14015"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14015\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14016,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14015\/revisions\/14016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14015"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14015"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14015"},{"taxonomy":"wf_post_folders","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.thetruthtoledo.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/wf_post_folders?post=14015"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}