By Alphonso Gibbs, Jr., LCSW-C, LICSW, Advisory Board Member
\nMen\u2019s Health Network
\nGuest Column<\/p>\n
Well, here we are again, the last few weeks of the year. Those weeks that include Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year\u2019s\u2014collectively called \u201cthe holidays.\u201d If you\u2019re reading this article, it means that you have survived the last two years – which have included an election, social unrest, and oh that darned pandemic! Instead of enjoying time with family and friends, we have been \u201csocially distancing\u201d to the point of watching commercials that feature an electronic wrap that can give a person a virtual hug, and wondering \u201cWhere can I get one of those?\u201d<\/p>\n
This year has been spent listening to reports of labor and product shortages, higher gas prices, and uncertainty on every corner.<\/p>\n
Is it any wonder that you or someone you know is struggling to find that \u201cjoy to the world\u201d?<\/p>\n
The fact is, instead of seeing visions of dancing sugar plums, we\u2019re questioning who we will really see and spend time with during \u201cthe most wonderful time of the year.\u201d Issues to consider include questioning who has been vaccinated, who chooses not to, risks of getting the virus, or do you use extra caution, do you travel, or have guests over, are just a few of them.<\/p>\n
Holiday depression\u2014also called the \u201choliday blues\u201d\u2014is a real thing, and it can last long after the holidays. Sometimes this can lead to suicide. The Veterans Health Administration (VA) stated that in 2019 the Veteran suicide rate in Nevada was higher than the National suicide rate, and higher than the National suicide rate among non-Veterans. \u00a0The VA’s state-level data can be found here: https:\/\/cts.vresp.com\/c\/?MensHealthNetwork\/c84f5868e9\/bab110333e\/8f2740f99d<\/a><\/p>\n To that end, the VA has identified three priority areas across Community Based Interventions that have proven effective in reducing, and preventing suicide.<\/p>\n The first is to identify Veterans, service members, and their families, and screen for suicide risk. That can be as simple as having a conversation with someone that you have observed to have a recent major shift in their mood or behavior, and merely asking them if they have thought about hurting themselves.<\/p>\n The second is to promote Connectedness and Improve Care Transitions. We all can attest to how being connected has been adversely impacted the past couple of years, and how we have had to adjust how we make it happen. Some are still struggling with finding new ways.<\/p>\n The last area is to increase Lethal Means Training, and Safety Planning. An example is increasing gun safety measures such as putting time between emotional outbursts or reactions, and access to The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Office of Mental Health and Suicide Prevention. National Suicide Prevention Annual Report: \u00a0– https:\/\/cts.vresp.com\/c\/?MensHealthNetwork\/c84f5868e9\/bab110333e\/bff321014a<\/a>\u00a02021 National Veteran Suicide Prevention Annual Report (va.gov)<\/p>\n Holiday depression affects one million people every year. Men and women, young and old, all fall victim to feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, guilt, and fatigue during this emotionally charged season.<\/p>\n Men\u2019s Health Network offers the following 11 suggestions to help you identify and ward off\u2014or at least better cope with\u2014potential sources of holiday depression.<\/p>\n 1. Acknowledge that you\u2019re hurting \u2013 Others may expect certain 2. Have a plan to deal with your feelings \u2013 Try to surround 3. Take time for yourself \u2013 Why is it called holiday depression? 4. Consider that your depression may actually be caused by this time 5. Help others \u2013 Soup kitchens, homeless shelters, nursing homes, 6. Bury the hatchet \u2013 Perfect families don\u2019t magically appear 7. Start your own traditions \u2013 Both families and traditions change 8. Keep your alcohol intake low \u2013 Don\u2019t pour gasoline on a fire. 9. Rededicate yourself to your spirituality \u2013 The \u201creason for the 10. Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Helplines<\/p>\n SAMHSA – Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration Veterans Crisis Line 1-800-273-8255 then press 1
\nlethal weapons.<\/p>\n
\nattitudes and behaviors from you that you may not feel. The retail
\nindustry\u2019s \u201choliday hype\u201d presents an overly sentimental,
\nnostalgic, and even imaginary notion of the holidays (usually to try
\nto sell you something). Sill, feelings of sadness, loneliness, or
\ndepression don\u2019t automatically vanish just because it\u2019s the
\nholidays. Acknowledge your pain, be open and honest with others,
\nrefuse to feel guilty, and get help if necessary. It\u2019s ok to laugh!
\nDon\u2019t be afraid! You won\u2019t be struck by a bolt of lightning for
\nlaughing! Remember, a closed mouth won\u2019t get fed!!<\/p>\n
\nyourself with people who care about and support you\u2014family,
\nfriends, or church members. Invest yourself in an exercise program
\n(aerobic activities such as walking, running, cycling, etc., are
\nrecommended because of their mood-elevating ability). If necessary,
\nsee your doctor or therapist. And learn to say \u201cno.\u201d Others\u2019
\nexpectations are not a reason for your own mental health to suffer.
\nSet realistic expectations \u2013 Keep your expectations realistic
\nrather than perfectionistic. \u00a0Prioritize and reduce self-imposed
\nholiday preparations. Delegate responsibilities. Realistically plan
\nyour budget, spending, and shopping. Do less and enjoy more.
\nObsessing over endless details is bound to change this long-awaited,
\nonce-a-year season from a time of exuberance to one of exhaustion.
\nMake it a point to be honest with yourself, and if necessary and
\npossible, limit the time and situations\/people you want to be around.
\nWhen you\u2019ve had enough of either, make sure that you have a way to
\nleave or step away.<\/p>\n
\nBecause, for most people, these feelings don\u2019t occur at other times
\nof the year. Remind yourself of what you enjoyed during the previous
\nmonths, then continue them during the holidays. Make yourself a
\npriority! Instead of \u00a0a \u201cDiscount Double Check,\u201d give yourself an
\n\u201cEmotional Double Check\u201d. Give yourself permission to feel what
\nyou feel. Just don\u2019t stay there too long! \u00a0Getting enough rest,
\neating and drinking in moderation, exercising, and continuing other
\nfavorite activities can maintain normalcy, routine, control, and
\npredictability.<\/p>\n
\nof year \u2013 Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, occurs because of
\nreduced exposure to sunlight\u2014which is just what happens during the
\nholiday season when daylight hours are shorter. Check with your
\ndoctor to see if light therapy might be beneficial for you.<\/p>\n
\nchurches, and scores of other organizations can always use
\nvolunteers, especially at critical times of the year. Additionally,
\nyou\u2019ll benefit from the company of other people around you rather
\nthan being alone. And, help others help you! Tell those who care
\nabout you what you do or don\u2019t need from them. They often don\u2019t
\nknow how to help, or what to say, but want to.<\/p>\n
\nduring the holidays, but family conflicts can. \u201cLetting go\u201d and
\nforgiving can help heal past wounds. Additionally, family feuds can
\neven be deliberately set aside until after the high-tension holidays
\nin order to facilitate the peace and enjoyment of everyone at this
\nspecial time.<\/p>\n
\nwith time. (Every tradition had to start somewhere!) Rather than
\nreminiscing over the \u201cgood old days,\u201d accept the fact that change
\nmay be necessary, grasp the season as it is now, look forward to the
\nfuture, and create your own family traditions that can be enjoyed and
\neven preserved for future generations. This is the year of \u201cZoom\u201d
\nmeetings, parties, and other gatherings. They are much cheaper,
\nsafer, and easier to organize than traveling. All you need is a
\nwebcam and internet access.<\/p>\n
\nRemember, alcohol has a depressive effect on your nervous system, so
\nif you\u2019re experiencing the holiday blues, drinking too much alcohol
\nwill only worsen your depression.<\/p>\n
\nseason\u201d is often swallowed up by maddening materialism that can
\ndistract from the history, meaning, and significance of holiday
\ncelebrations. Step back, slow down, and refocus on transcendent,
\neternal matters. \u00a0Rededicate yourself to spiritual pursuits, such as
\nchurch attendance, church work, prayer life, and other disciplines.
\nRegain the focus originally intended by this time of year.<\/p>\n
\nAir Force, and Coast Guard connect with proven resources and
\neffective treatments for depression and find solutions that improve
\ntheir lives. It can be difficult to handle depression on your own, so
\ntalking to your family and friends can be a first step. You can also
\nconsider connecting with:<\/p>\n\n
\nor can refer you to someone who does. If you feel comfortable enough
\nwith your physician, he or she may be able to help you find tools to
\nmanage loss of interest or pleasure even without direct experience
\nwith Veterans.<\/li>\n
\ncare and treatment of Veterans.<\/li>\n
\n800-662-HELP (4357) \u00a0\u00a0www.samhsa.gov<\/a><\/p>\n
\nwww.VeteransCrisisLine.net<\/a><\/p>\n